in comedy she trusts.

trusting, thrusting, comedy.

Dec 9, 2009 8:40am

Daddy Issues

  • Her: Would it count as a pick up line if I said I was born after a failed vascectomy?
  • Him: No, I'm more into Daddy Issues.
  • Me: Would it count as a pick up line if I said my Dad pronounces his R's as W's, you wittle wascal?
Dec 8, 2009 1:28am
massromantic: are2

massromantic:

are2
Dec 8, 2009 1:24am
“ Midway through mentioning how the restaurant was a lot nicer than the rowdy one down the street, a woman stormed in, yelled “Asshole!” and dumped a poutine on the guy beside me. Only in Canada. And, I say “Only in Canada,” because America doesn’t sell poutine. ”
Dec 8, 2009 1:00am

Hair appointment.

  • Me: Yeah, I'm really into the birth order theories. It disgusts me how last borns are so manipulative.
  • Hairdresser: Hmm, oh, ugh, that's interesting. Ugh, I'm the youngest of five.
Dec 8, 2009 12:58am

Is it common for people to read their horoscopes and gush, “Wow, I really am amazing” or is that just because I’m an Aries?

Dec 8, 2009 12:53am
“ On your 24th birthday, when you said you felt your age, you made me want that. I want to announce my next birthday without hammering out the typical “Ohhhh my god, I can’t believe I’m __” speech. I want to be comfortable right where I am: with who I am and who I’m becoming. ”
Dec 8, 2009 12:50am
“ Did Jesus walk on water or run on a slip-and-slide? ”
Dec 7, 2009 10:26am
  • Regarding the slip and slide water walking contraption seen at the YMCA today:
  • Me: Maybe that was what Jesus was walking on in the Bible.
  • J: Oh yeah, they just edited the slip and slide part out.
  • Me: Yeah, it's totally possible you know.
  • J: Yeah, for sure. And they thought it would be cool to make a story about a guy living in a fish.
  • Me: Definitely. But seriously, maybe Jesus really did have one of those things, took a few steps on it, and you know people just edited that bit out.
  • J: Hmm... I don't know that seems kind of important.
  • Me: Well you know how it is, they didn't write those books until like at least a hundred years later. Something could've gotten lost in the telling. I mean, have you ever played telephone?!? Seriously.
  • J: That's gotta go in the blog, E. If you don't write it in, I will.
  • So here ya go J, I dusted off the old tumblr just for you. ;)
Dec 2, 2009 12:35pm
Dec 2, 2009 12:34pm
“ Thanks! I’m just chilling at the hospital… Some guy is visiting (his) room and they were discussing booze and the visitor is like “Oh, I don’t drink any more than anyone else. You know I only drink two or three a day.” LOL. So I think you’re doing okay with your alcoholism. ” - A text from a friend. Was she trying to cheer me up or was she suggesting I should ween myself down to two or three day? Hmmm…. Haha.
Dec 2, 2009 12:23pm
“ Is it just me or does egg nog taste a little better every year? No, maybe every other year, forget I said that. ”
Dec 2, 2009 12:22pm

Calling dibs!

  • 1: Dibs on black shirt!
  • 2: Dibs on Christmas!
  • 1: You can't call dibs on Christmas; it's for everyone.
  • 2: Everyone? That's pretty offensive-- forcing Christmas like that---
Dec 2, 2009 12:20pm
“ And, little did they know the two solar panels on the eco-laundry wouldn’t charge a light bulb….. ”
Dec 2, 2009 12:19pm
“ Business proposition: opening a booth to sell OBAMA merch to the after bar crowd in downtown Peterborough, ON. Any investors? ”
Dec 2, 2009 12:17pm

I should write a guide to finding love...

  • Me: I bought you the beer, because I thought it would at least buy five minutes of your time.
  • Him: Really?
  • Me: Yes, and I have goody bags and prizes in my room.
  • Him: Do you have a pony?
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